Nightmare on Elm Street 5 (나이트메어5) (A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child) (1989) - 1991 Starmax South Korean VHS

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Here's another Korean tape that plopped into my mailbox, Starmax's "Nightmare on Elm Street 5" clamshell. As with some of my other tapes from this country, the home video market there must have been geared towards A/V-minded enthusiasts over the average joe. This VHS starts with a contrast and color bar pattern with orchestral Hi-Fi demo playing over the tests. No movie previews, but two short commercials depicting affluent types hawking a Samsung 8mm camcorder and VCR. The version presented is the R-rated cut, like New Line's recent VHS and DVD, but unlike Media Entertainment's original unrated VHS. The source seems to be a theatrical print exhibiting a metric ton of stray lines, flecks, and even reel change burns throughout the feature.

As for Elm Street 5, probably since I saw it at a young age, it's not what I'd consider the worst of the series. Some interesting ideas are present, most obviously the Krueger's Baby angle (complete with weighty abortion allusions), but yea, it's a mess otherwise from a severely undercooked screenplay. Freddy is pure comedian, somehow looks far older than he did in any other entry, and his few kills are as goofy as his one-liners. Check out the cool lion sticker on the spine!
                           

Some quick thoughts on Tokyo Zombie (東京ゾンビ) (2005)

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Fujio (Tadanobu Asano) and Mitsuo (Show Aikawa) are two half-wits obsessed with Jujutsu who work in the shadow of an enormous man-made toxic garbage mountain dubbed the "Black Fuji". The undead eventually rise up from the ashen dirt and overtake Tokyo with the oblivious pair embarking on a journey to escape to Russia and survive by their limited sparring ability.
     
Sakichi Sato's Tokyo Zombie is one of those rare instances in which a cinematic sitdown leaves you entirely cold, but strangely reluctant to lay the blame on the movie itself. After its early millennial renaissance, the Far East horror scene quickly dwindled by the time this particular film debuted in Japan. I can even recall first hearing about Tokyo Zombie and being surprised to hear of a new Japanese horror film aside from Kurosawa's ultimately so-so The Loft. Unsure what exactly caused this dim in popularity, but Japanese audiences aren't immune to burnout, as evident in the Sadako mania to sweep the country after the release of Hideo Nakata's Ringu. So by the mid-point of the last decade, J-horror was stumbling on its feet and I remain leery of this on-going wave of over-the-top gore.

Interestingly, this faithful adaption of Yusaku Hanakuma's manga could be viewed as an open rejection of the staleness that became the country's genre endeavors by that point. The zombie aspect is pushed so far into the background that it proves an unsatisfying device employed for drama in what's essentially a standard buddy comedy. Instead, the focus rests on the progression of the almost father-and-son relationship between Fujio and Mitsuo. This will most likely alienate those coming for the undead. If the painfully quirky leads don't click, you'll probably not want to stick with Tokyo Zombie to its conclusion.

The bulk of the comedy is no relief being a very Japanese style of subtle Laurel & Hardy slapstick. Unlike the superior Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Braindead (Dead Alive) (1992), the zombie wrapping paper isn't an integral component to the comedy. Sato offers a brand of quick-witted character interplay, presumably playing better to those fluent in the native language, than to those sifting for humor in subtitles. Again, this will most likely alienate those coming for the laughs being neither here-or-there as a comedy or horror film.

Tokyo Zombie is on an island by itself where both of its key elements cancel each other out. Maybe that's the point? A screen interpretation that probably plays best with those who are already fans of the manga. Sato, who played "Charlie Brown" in Kill Bill Vol. 1, should be praised for translating the source to film so well considering the budget. Asano and Aikawa hold their own as the eccentric duo anchoring the overly zany proceedings. The inclusion of the country's enduring subtext of mankind's doings and sloth being its own end, think Godzilla, is also a nice touch. Still, if you're looking for zombie mayhem, a laugh riot, or even really a combination--look elsewhere.

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Halloween II (1981) - 1982 MCA Videocassette Inc. VHS

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Pardon the lack of a more appropriate All Hallows' Eve holiday entry, but I've been busy this weekend. Anyway, I hope this scan of another rare Halloween series tape can be some compensation. This is the stereo version of MCA's first stateside video release of this sequel from '82.

Have a Happy & Safe Halloween!

American Psycho (아메리칸 싸이코) (2000) - Starmax South Korean VHS

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Some quick thoughts on Uncommon Valor (1983)

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Gene Hackman stars as a father with a missing-in-action son from the Vietnam War who decides to mount a rogue rescue. Assembling the POW's old squad years later, he and the group train for weeks in a scale replica of the camp funded by a wealthy entrepreneur (Robert Stack). Of course, things don't go exactly as planned once they launch into the real mission.

Being perfectly blunt, the intellectual depth I prefer from this type of movie can be likened a neanderthal picking a thorn out of his big toe. Not an enormous Marlon Brando synthesizing Vietnam, Private Pyle go out strange, or the realization that Sam Mendes and Jake Gyllenhaal just wasted two hours of my life. I want macho bullshit so thick you could take a butter knife to the screen and slather the scrapings onto a hunk of Texas toast. A festering stockpile of Vietnamese soldiers with boyish facial hair and a multitude of fresh holes blown through their chest cavities. Lastly, straw hut destruction of an escalating enormity amidst jungle eradication that would make environmentalists shit themselves with rage.

Given the presence of Gene Hackman and Uncommon Valor being based on a true story, I've always pegged this Ted Kotcheff film as a "serious war picture" sight unseen. Maybe this one seemed more timely when first released, but after watching this last night, it's your average POW green inferno actioner. Even with Hackman flexing his acting dexterity at certain points, there's no deeper message or emotional impact with regards to the Vietnam War's missing. Stallone's reprisal as Rambo two years later actually does a superior job of implanting the POW theme into an explosive guy flick.

That doesn't mean Kotcheff's film, probably made solely from the success of his prior First Blood (1982), can't be a fun time. The rather far-fetched proceedings are bolstered by a supporting gaggle of familiar faces. Fred Ward (Tremors), Randall 'Tex' Cobb (Raising Arizona), Tim Thomerson (Trancers), Harold Sylvester (Griff from Married with Children), Robert Stack, and a young Patrick Swayze all make for an easy recommendation. We even get to hear Stack tersely say "fuck you"; a treat for those who grew up with his trademark voice on Unsolved Mysteries.

Then we have Mr. Roll Fizzlebeef himself, Reb Brown, star of such essentials as Space Mutiny, Yor, the Hunter from the Future, and Strike Commando. Brown's character, Blaster, is an easygoing explosives expert turned BMX pro after the time serving his country. It's otherworldly seeing Brown share the screen with Hackman, relay two meaty monologues, and see the focus shift like he's the star during his final minutes on-screen. The dirty secret is that Brown's performance is actually good and acts as proof that he could stand with his fellow character actors. And yes, Reb does bust out one of his patented "blargh!" wails, but you gotta wait for it.

Uncommon Valor isn't what I expected in a pleasant way. It's not a great dumb action flick, the action quota is mostly saved for the satisfying climax, but the one-dimensional characters are made inoffensive by the actors in their skin. What would seem like important aspects are either gleened over, rushed through, or somewhat forgotten about. It's evident this film was the basic formula many low-budget Italian rip-offs strived toward instead of working with the previous, unreachable Apocalypse Now template. One will also probably want to dig around to learn the real story. CIC's Japanese VHS, re-titled Hell's Seven, offers no advantage over the domestic versions with a full screen version. 

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Carrie (1976) - 1981 Magnetic Video Corporation Betamax (MAG1 Cassette)

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Snagged this one from eBay, mint condition! 

Some quick thoughts on Warlock: The Armageddon (1993)

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In a quest to unleash his father upon Earth, Satan's son (Julian Sands) returns in search of seven scattered runestones. A reign of terror is left in the Warlock's wake as he acquires the rocks from their hapless, present day owners. The final stone rests in the hands of the Druid descendants of the original keepers. The family's warriors, a teenage couple, are the only ones that stand between the Warlock and a Hades reality with their newly discovered ethereal abilities.

Steve Miner's Warlock (1989) was a genuine surprise. A fluid genre picture with a welcomingly heavy reliance on its creative fantasy aspects that never once becomes boring. Unfortunately, Anthony Hickox's retread strips much of the quaint mythology in favor of a straightforward "horror" follow-up to its own detriment. That doesn't sound too bad, but it's obvious the increase in blood was an easy-way-out response to a budget several million less than the first. In fact, the first scene featuring the Warlock, in which he's forcefully reborn from a woman who possesses the "birth stone", features way more gooey grue than in all of the first film. Warlock's inventive use of ancient lore is also handicapped here and usually acts another excuse for some blood.

Julian Sands is back in the titular role, again turning on the cold menace, just to lesser impact given the more show than tell of his evil deeds. The reliable father of Crispin, Bruce Glover, shows up in another priest role helping the young Druids in their combat. Everyone else is the usual muddling talking wallpaper for such a production; although George "Buck" Flower and Zach Galligan of Hickox's Waxwork have one line walk-ons.

Though the actors don't worsen the bloody ho-hum; the painful lack of funds often distracts. The town that the protagonist Druids inhabit, an obvious "western town" studio backlot with a wide main street and large wooden buildings, is appropriately redressed to look modern. There's even a bit of gun standoff with the Warlock at the climax as a wink to the set's real purpose. The scant optical effects are solid like in the prior film, but the introduction of some clunky early '90s CG is an eyesore. Ulitmately, Armageddon is merely a passable time waster despite lacking that fun spark that made the Miner/Twohy film perpetually entertaining.

As stated before, Trimark's Warlock DVD features a poor unmatted full frame transfer. The now Lionsgate merged distributor boosts the specs of Armageddon with an anamorphic 1.85:1 widescreen presentation. Problem is the image is so relentlessly soft and drab that objects kinda "clump" together. A great example of a weak 16x9 transfer from the DVD format's early days. The film's trailer and "hidden" trailer for Vincenzo Natali's Cube (where's the Blu-ray?) are the only extras. Don't expect a new edition of Armageddon, the sealed copy I viewed was in one of those recent and annoying reduced plastic, eco-bullshit cases.

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Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (13日の金曜日PART6) (1986) - 1987 CIC Video Japan VHS

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Does he think I'm a farthead?

Making It Official: $1.00 is too damn high for a VHS, folks...

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If you've been reading BoGD for even a week, you're probably well aware of my love of video tapes. So naturally I'm a seasoned swap meet vulture; prying cassettes from uncaring hands before their inevitable trip to the great dumpster in the sky. Before I took up seeking out VHS (and Beta), I primarily collected DVD and have seen the trends in price with regards to movie discs at flea markets and yard sales. I can remember when used DVDs hovered around $8, then $5, and settling in for quite a long time for $3 a pop. Nowadays, sealed discs average six bucks while recently the used rate has began dropping further to just two bucks. I don't believe this is from people becoming wiser and opting to Netflix, Redbox, or Blu-ray. It's more the realization that the resale potential of their collection consisting of Corky Romano and The Lord of the Rings is tantamount to a flaming bag of dog shit.     

Yet oddly enough, the space-consuming, antiquated, and generally unwanted VHS format still commands a dollar a piece and has for years. No matter the condition or age, a buck seems to be the unwritten suggested price, despite the much newer predominant disc-based format now being a mere one hundred cents more. All this really hit hard yesterday at one of my swap meet haunts. The first guy I spotted with tapes had a few of the Elm Street series. I picked up a beat-all-to-hell copy of Media Entertainment's 1989 Dream Child VHS. A dirty, dog-earred ex-rental complete with a small bottom rip from someone who couldn't grasp the concept of taking a cassette out of a slipbox. The thing was I needed this unrated copy for comparison purposes as an overseas tape is currently flying across the Pacific en route to my mailbox.

While I'm standing there examining a heavily abused, twenty-one-year-old tape I hear, "Yeah, the tapes are a dollar and DVDs are two." For shits and giggles, I pick up a nearby disc of Casino Royale (full screen, of course). The cover, disc, and case are in perfect condition. For one dollar more. Possessing haggle skills passed down by my father and honed for years in the weekend trenches, I work the tape down to fifty cents. This is the nice price for tapes and should be mandated as the revised normal rate for swap meets and yard sales. A dollar is understandable if one obviously babied their collection with kit gloves, but the vast majority of tapes look tossed around in a dryer and left to rust in storage. There's no justification for trying to pass off VHS (and especially Beta) for a George Washington in '10. Instead, let those quarter pieces satisfyingly jingle in your pocket after a day of selling...                                                        

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R.I.P. Don Leifert (1950-2010)

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The zombified, carotid-sapping star of Don Dohler's Fiend (1980), Don Leifert, passed away yesterday. Leifert also starred in the regional Baltimore filmmaker's debut The Alien Factor (1978), Nightbeast (1982), and Galaxy Intruder (1985) as well as being a longtime theatre teacher at Towson High School in Maryland. I never had the opportunity to met the actor or Dohler, despite being smack-dab in their base of operations, but fondly remember a conversation with a friend back in high school. He actually had Leifert as his teacher and knowing my interest in horror asked if I'd ever seen any of the features his teach had been in. At the time, I was only vaguely aware of Dohler's films and had no idea of Leifert or his career in education. Although now I'm quite aware of the shoestring sci-fi/horror wonders created not fifty miles away back when I was either first arriving into existence or a toddler. Dohler's films might be goofy, but their desire to entertain is certainly infectious and Don Leifert's presence only added to the delirium, R.I.P.

(Deadly Neighbor (Fiend) (1980) / 1992 Video Communications Inc. VHS)

Freddy in Space's Scared Shitless Meme: The Attic Incident

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I've been graciously singled out by Johnny over at the epic Freddy in Space to participate in his first blogger meme ever, The Scared Shitless Meme. Before starting into my mad tale of the noise in the attic, let me preface this by stating I've been involved in some pretty scary shit. Car accidents, bad falls, occurrences with knives, enormous MMA clashes with Randy Couture. Okay, perhaps that last one was an exaggeration, but you get my point. Though all of those can be likened to an episode of Barney & Friends one chance night home alone about a decade ago.

I must confess; I'm a bit of a pussy. Acting like I'm all hard, I can watch nearly any damn thing, never even getting the slightest hint of a hurl. Pasta with meat sauce during Flowers of Flesh and Blood? Laughing joyfully during Olaf Ittenbach's Black Past? Knitting in the middle of Slaughtered Vomit Dolls? No fucking problem. In fact, call up your friends and we'll party sometime. But, and I hate to admit this, I still get the willies like a little prissy girl whenever I suddenly realize I'm "in the dark" or hear the slightest unidentified "shift" in the night. Listening to Coast to Coast AM in the wee hours of the morning can prove a jarring experience as I always seem to envision something lurking from behind. Fuck you, shadow person. So yes, I'm a giant wuss when it comes to freaking myself out over crap that's simply not there.

So imagine my abject fear late one weekend night years ago. My parents were out and I was left to my own devices. I can't remember what I was doing, probably neglecting school work for Argento, but my thrilling night was winding down. As I was shutting down the ol' PC, what sounded like distinct footsteps tapped above my head across the ceiling. Okay, nothing to be frightened by, right? A few minutes later there's a rustling coming from the corner of the house in the attic. Now the house wasn't built a hundred ago or anything that would indicate a place prone to paranormal activity. That didn't stop the thoughts that began swirling in my head. The Ju-on remake wasn't out yet, but I had seen the original and the images of howling cat children and dead, contorting Japanese women cackling couldn't be shaken as I looked toward the ceiling. After I hear a box of junk slam the boards above, I become resolute and grab an aluminum little league bat I've had since forever. I cautiously make my way up the pull-down ladder with one tiny bulb illuminating the entire space. Ambling along a narrow strip of loose 2x4s down the center the attic, I freeze cold upon hearing...

"EEEEEEEEeerreeerrrrrrrrrraaaaawwwwrrrrrrr!!!"

Before I could shit myself, tense up, or even blink; a furry blur comes running toward my bare feet. Somehow I manage to awkwardly swing the bat and hit...something, but in the process stumble back and fall backward hard onto the ceiling beams and insulation. Hours later in the morning, I open my eyes to the sound of my mother screaming bloody murder as if someone died. No, she just found me, knocked out from the fall with a mild concussion and small stain of blood evident through ceiling below. By some still unexplained method, a terrified possum had ended up in the attic, mulling around and apparently munching on cardboard boxes. I'm not one for violence against animals, but it was me or him that night. The unforgivable sheer terror I experienced for that millisecond was the poor creature's best revenge.

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Perhaps The Greatest Video Ever...

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Kill Squad (1982) - 1988 Air Video/Ariel International Releasing VHS

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Another rare AIR Video release like their BOG big box, only this time in a regular slipcover. Check out this flick's tremendous trailer here.

After Death (Oltre la morte) (Zombie 4: After Death) (1988) - SPO Entertainment Japan VHS

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Some quick thoughts on Tiger Joe (Fuga dall'archipelago maledetto) (1982)

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Antonio Margheriti's Tiger Joe (1982) was a means of stretching leftovers from the director's previous 'Nam war entry, The Last Hunter (L'ultimo cacciatore) (1980). Unfortunately, the hodgepodge result feels like exactly that. Ninety-six minutes of the titular character and humanitarian love interest (Annie Belle) moving through the green inferno, engaging in sporadic mediocre gunfights, and meeting up with native rebels.

Unlike the near poignant excitement of Margheriti's Deer Hunter answer, this action potboiler doesn't have a grander point despite trying to at least maintain modest momentum. Even the strident and supremely self-assured David Warbeck, who possibly pissed Old Spice, can't quite make this exercise totally worthwhile. A boisterous Tony King, alumnus of Cannibal Apocalypse and Last Hunter, is on hand to practically steal the show from the star who takes a bit of a backseat in the last reel.

Tiger Joe is also strangely grim, but not in the traditional, over-the-top Italian exploitative sense. The tone of the entire feature is simply downtrodden. This nagging sense confirmed when Tiger Joe's dying mechanic, after injured in a munitions explosion, is carried by a desperate Midnight (King) across a stretch of jungle before committing suicide in the arms of his broken friend. At a certain point, you realize there's no central baddie, just opposing forces facing off against protagonists who aren't fighting for a purpose let alone much for their lives.

Carlo Savina's dreary score doesn't help matters. I kept envisioning a scowling Vincent Price with candelabra stalking a cobwebbed hallway to the late composer's music; not Warbeck breaking Charlie face with blazing M-16 as napalm deforestation occurs from behind. I have a nostalgic affinity for Tiger Joe, as it was my first experience with an Italian hut exploder (after first seeing Fulci's masterpiece, The Beyond), but I'd suggest seeking out the far superior The Last Hunter before cautiously venturing into this next day warmed over turkey.

The VHS scan to the right is the U.S. Lightning Video release from 1986. Despite having nice color, the original 2.35:1 framing has been painfully cramped to full screen. Lots of half-faces, awkward composition, and unnaturally quick pans to catch important action that would be seen otherwise. It's like watching the film with tunnel vision. Although this tape does have a quick video trailer for another (superior) Margheriti war romp, Tornado (1983), at its conclusion. Thankfully (well, a godsend), the Japanese Mount Light/Pack-In-Video VHS below presents Tiger Joe (marketed as Tornado 2) in widescreen so one can finally appreciate the director's underrated scope eye. Definitely the one to seek out between the two...

Straw Dogs (1971) - 1980 Magnetic Video VHS

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Here's the first stateside home video of Peckinpah's masterpiece released thirty years ago or three years after the VHS format initially debuted. Magnetic Video was the first video distributor in North America, so most of their releases were "first ever" for the given titles. This copy looks to have gone to hell and back, but its battered condition nicely compliments the film.

Candyman (1992) - 2002 Tri-Star/Sony Pictures VHS

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This VHS cover for Bernard Rose's superb Candyman is completely new to me. Sony seems to have been tinkering with the artwork of their late era tapes. Like the 2002 VHS of 976-EVIL, the Candyman art below is different from Tri-Star's 1998 DVD counterpart (seen here). Maybe this was to differentiate the tape from the relatively new (and gaining marketplace traction) DVD format. Can't say I like this cover at all, but it is interesting since I was thoroughly unconcerned with watching or buying anything on VHS by 2002. Candyman is in desperate need of a fresh transfer for Blu-ray; both DVD editions feature an identical, nearly fifteen-year-old transfer.