The Little Known Alternate Cut of Murder-Set-Pieces

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Still not feeling too great, so I'm going recycle a little something I posted way back on Film Talk for the sake of keeping the word out there for anyone interested as this tidbit doesn't seem widely addressed.

Many of you fellow gorefreaks are probably already aware of Nick Palumbo's infamous Murder-Set-Pieces. A 2004 sickie packed with extreme misogyny, wanton slaughter, disgusting rape, and even child murder that divided opinion and pissed off many of the actors involved upon seeing the finished product. Not to mention Palumbo apparently being a dick, known for fighting on message boards over even slight criticism and allegedly selling gifts received from those in the industry on eBay. I'm still out on Palumbo's creation myself. On one hand, the flick would probably be revered as something of a rough exploitation classic nowadays if produced back in the early '80s, but at the same time all the varied violence seems crammed in merely to guarantee everyone who sees it will at least find one aspect deeply offensive.

I did "like" the flick more the last time I persevered through the director's cut and what largely saves this abhorrent exercise (aside from the impressive splatter from Toe Tag) is the strange, cold feeling of being a fly-on-the-wall as we follow The Photographer (Sven Garrett) gorily tear Vegas's female population a new asshole. If this is your thing, the director's cut of Murder-Set-Pieces is the sickest American-made horror outing of the previous decade by a good margin.

But then, after Palumbo self-released his director's cut onto DVD, the feature ended up in the hands of Lionsgate for their own straight-to-DVD release. I can remember first hearing of this and immediately advising to buy Palumbo's disc because there was no way in hell Lionsgate would have the balls to throw this one uncut in stores nationwide. My assumption proved correct. The studio submitted the film to the MPAA to be slashed down to an R. According the IMDB's trivia page, an unbelievable 23 minutes of cuts took place. That should be it, right?

Not entirely, despite the Lionsgate release scorn of globs of vileness that might have resulted in the studio facing lawsuits from traumatized soccer moms and their kids who mistakenly rented it, the resulting R-rated cut is actually a hybrid version that includes unique footage only seen in Palumbo's theatrical release and workprint. Every snippet described on the IMDB's alternate versions page is included. I haven't memorized the director's cut so there might actually be more. The screenshots to the right reflect the "new" footage on the R-rated disc. Of course, the director's cut is the proper way to experience Murder-Set-Pieces and it can still be found for sale online (here for example), but those genuinely smitten either by Palumbo or this film might want to track down a cheap copy of Lionsgate's DVD as a curious supplement.

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Sick Day Odds and Ends

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I'm feeling a bit under the weather today, so here's just a few tidbits that might be of interest. First off, I wanted to congratulate and welcome Erik to the horror blogosphere with his new blog, Ramen, Robots & Red Sauce. I've known Erik for quite sometime from DVDAficionado's now gone-with-the-wind Film Talk forums. The man's goo-ry people with a taste for morose vintage cranial violence and it's great to hear another voice in our expanding community.

Next up, if you're an independent horror blogger, be sure to scope out Pax Romano's newly devised Union of Independent Horror Bloggers, which is a pledge of maintaining journalistic integrity in the face of free stuff like movie screeners and passes. This is certainly something all of us should be able to stand with, so be sure to throw it up on your blog. I tweaked Pax's design below (scroll down/to the left) and I don't mind if one decides to take whichever image, but it's a good thing to get behind either way.

Blu-ray.com put their Zombieland review up today with direct 1080p screenshots and as usual Sony hits it out of the park with another stellar transfer. On this note, anyone whose been a long time BoGD reader is probably aware of my liking for grilled queso action, and Sony has just released the mecca of action blockbuster bombs, Last Action Hero, onto Blu-ray last week with zero fanfare. I have no confirmation on this, but I believe the film was never properly transferred to DVD. Every release across the globe, even the Japanese Superbit and broadcast HD versions, has a prominent reddish-purple haze over the image. This screenshot comparison between the German DVD and Sony Blu-ray proves the studio re-transferred the film for the format resulting in a properly color-corrected picture. Finally. You know this one is already on the way to my mailbox! Jou wonna be a faormor?

That's about it for today, I have some interesting titles enroute including a few tapes from a country who recently had their first citizen achieve spaceflight, so perhaps I'll be luckier and feel better tomorrow.

I miss White Zombie...

Some quick thoughts on Halloween 2 (2009) or: My Public Apology to Rob Zombie

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In a surprising revelation, I'm officially shifting my prior "don't buy" recommendation to "check it out when dirt cheap used copies start appearing on the 'net and swap meets from those with buyer remorse." I was ardent in my stance that I simply wouldn't like this follow-up to Zombie's previous mutilation of a horror genre sacred cow, but I'll be damned if I wasn't pleasantly surprised by the experience. Halloween 2 honestly reeks of Zombie struggling to grow and craft something meaningful for the first time as a director, obvious warts and all. One could deem The Devil's Rejects that, and while great, it's great from the memorable cast's absolute conviction barreling forth on sheer gritty momentum. In contrast, H2 sloppily thrusts Rob Zombie up a notch (perhaps two) as a filmmaker largely by his own hands and that deserves praise even though Halloween purists will just continue to shit bloody, orange, pumpkin-flavored bricks.

Zombie is obviously blazing his own trail here, doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks, and your own reaction to this sequel is predicated on to what regard you hold the original Halloween series/mythos. I've only seen bits of Return of Michael Myers through Resurrection, so I don't feel much investment in the series proper. For your humble blogger; John Carpenter's Halloween is the final word, the sequels are superfluous, and Zombie's initial re-imagining basically pissed on perfection. But, if 2007's Halloween was a horrific trainwreck of orphaned children with down syndrome; 2009's Halloween 2 is a clear derailment with some bruises and screaming that screeches to a stop within spitting distance of the terminal. On the other hand, if you're a diehard, you'll still want to spit in the face of Zombie after sitting through this second offense.

H2 is a work filled with earnest, good-hearted attempts at molding a unique vision of the Halloween universe. No bullshit. The problem is that along with most of the positives, there are annoying negatives riding the coattails. Zombie tries to fashion Laurie as an emerging psycho being brought to boil (something made clearer in this 119 minute director's cut), but as per his usual style, it's delivered with extreme heavy-handedness. Scout Taylor-Compton largely fails to bring Laurie full stride or circle, giving off the impression of a little girl even while spouting "fuck" a mile-a-minute. The notion of Laurie being Michael's sister is pummeled over your head in two dream sequences, but for some reason it takes seeing a photo in Loomis's tell-all book for Laurie's mental state to shit the bed. One suggestion would have been to have the photo dated by twenty years to serve as another indicator of Laurie's deepening psychosis regardless of reality. Alas, Laurie's descent is up-and-down rocky at best, but such focus on an individual character is a commendable first in Zombie's cannon.

After hating what happened to the Loomis character in 2007, Malcolm McDowell's even newer Loomis is a complete asshole. I mean, if you're going to do it--do it big. This adds something totally new over Pleasance's superb pensiveness and McDowell the actor specializes in being a pompous jerk-off anyway. Of course, with this comes odd shifts in the therapist turned money-grubber's mentality. Why would Loomis essentially grow old with Michael, suddenly decide to wash himself of the situation, then awash himself in easy money from the whole ordeal? Then suddenly decide to take action again when Laurie finds herself in peril...again? Yeah, it's problematic, but McDowell's performance here suits him better and the scene involving a disgruntled father at a book signing is deliciously meaty.

What about Michael? His rage-induced grunts/arghs are annoying (though not with every kill), and yes original Myers does breathe heavy while slaughtering, but there's still distinct power in the monolithic silence of his original concept that completely sours once you hear him. Especially since it's pretty much established Michael is more human than human after resurrecting to full power from direct bullets to the head. That's really the only thing I didn't care for, seven foot unshaven unmasked murderous hobo and all. Zombie's characterization of Michael is undoubtedly challenging, but it's all fantastic once he gets down to the business of getting intellectual with his knife and smashing whoreface into mirror 10x.

There's one final troubling aspect of Michael that's symptomatic of an ongoing issue in Zombie's filmography--dealing with time. According to the director's cut, "present day" in the film is two years almost to the day after the events at the end of Halloween. We see Michael walking through scattered forest and farmland towards Haddonfield, but where has he been all this time? At one point, two hicks (Mark Boone Junior and Duane Whitaker in a match made in awesome heaven) shout at Myers to once again get off their land so I assume he's been walking through crops and eating animals all this time while skipping one Halloween, which seems stupid. Also Loomis bending the space/time continuum to save the day at the climax after hearing of the situation as if he was just up the street. There's a bunch of little quibbles like this throughout H2 and it's a shame Zombie continues to fail in defeating this problem with flow which can be seen in every one of his films so far.

Aside from the problems mixed with marbling of quality; the redneck white trash shtick, overt cult cameos at every turn (though Brad Dourif proves a damn good investment), and countless '70s tuneage are all turned way down for the good. Judging by this sequel, Zombie just might be ready to bust out and gloriously tackle the full kickass potential of Tyrannosaurus Rex. Halloween 2 has renewed a good size chunk of my faith in Rob behind the camera and nearly makes one want to revisit his Halloween with the fresh perspective gained.

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Something's going to happen...

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Dammit...

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Well, upon encountering a nice price™ on a sealed copy of Halloween 2 at the swap meet (thank you nefarious K-mart employee!), I bought it despite advising everyone not to while wishing Rob a happy birthday a few days back. I'm hypocritical! Hehehe. Actually, I figured I'd give Mr. Zombie another chance even after despising his prior ruination since this sequel is pretty much completely separated from the original series. Now it's his own baby to run over with his Dragula or get up and kill. Though I will watch with the full benefit of the doubt. That and the grisly throwback goodwill from his Firefly family adventures is still there for me.

I also snagged Angel Heart on Blu-ray at Sam's Club. As an FYI, also for $12.88 they had My Bloody Valentine (1981), Cujo, Frailty, Near Dark (shitty picture quality), Red Heat, and Way of the Gun. For $9.88, I spotted The Monster Squad (excellent picture quality), Amusement, and Midnight Movie. Just in case if any of you guys are members and want a little extra Blu-ray incentive to go and grab that three gallon bulk tub of popcorn butter and thirty pack of Irish Spring. Hey, anyone else see the sexual innuendo in the cover of Halloween?

Some quick thoughts on Colin (2008)

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A young man, Colin (Alastair Kirton), is infected in a sweeping zombie apocalypse and is damned to shamble ever rotting around the dreary streets of London where he's met with chaos, prior loved ones, and some living being just as deplorable as the undead.

Marc Price's Colin is purported to have cost a staggering £45 ($65, for a crowbar and tapes) and is generally sold as being "the first zombie film from a zombie's perspective." I doubt the validity of the first claim and the second isn't true (Andrew Parkinson's mega-depressing I, Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain (1998)), but that doesn't diminish Price's achievement. This is one of the most impressive real no-budget wonders of the last decade, just not for the expected reasons.

Given the lack of cash, Colin doesn't lean on the better odds of embarrassing itself with a cavalcade of DIY cheapjack zombie mayhem that we've all seen before. Instead, Price wisely focuses on the humanistic qualities of the titular character's reactions to the madness his kind has wrought against humanity. We see Colin search for fleshly sustenance, feel shades of his former self through objects and locations, and encounter an array of humans from hideous deviants to street marauders. Familiar zombie vs. human societal ideas also explored elsewhere in zombiedom are touched upon, but it's the wealth presented here and how they're weaved into the narrative's fabric that sets Colin apart.

It's all very personal and that's genuine if this brand of apocalypse were to actually occur. The rest of the world wouldn't matter in the face of the world that you know completely collapsing whether you're alive or...undead. The character of Colin is ultimately a decomposing yet walking corpse much to the horror of his victims and sorrow of the humans that once called him family. One feels empathy towards Colin for a plight he didn't ask for with most of those around him terrified by his very presence. All too often low budget zombie flicks only flirt with these considerations, feel required to have forced badasses saving the day, and become transfixed with the glory of exploding squibs and blood-slinging hammers. The emotional basis Price builds Colin upon is what saves his debut feature from the scrapheap of living dead also rans.

Price's direction and editing have an obvious Leone or Peckinpah grounding with long sequences of relative quietness punctuated by sudden moments of loud, chaotic tension. The filmmaker isn't given to crass bravado with his skill only working to mask the production's limitations. It would be wonderful to see what Price could do with more resources as his ability to hold attention with very little action for long periods is extremely impressive. Jack Elphick and Dan Weekes' score, which a film of a much higher budget would love to have, also has to be commended for greatly helping the impact of the visuals. If I had to quibble, the film feels a little long at 100 minutes with some scenes running a few steps more than they should, but this isn't new with films of this ilk and with so many positive attributes this indulgence is fine. Overall, Colin exhibits aspects that one would hope to see trickle up through the subgenre and you'd be well-served to check this one out.

Kaleidoscope Home Entertainment's British 2-Disc Special Edition (Region 2/PAL) is a bit of a puzzle. With the inherently poor image quality of the 1.33:1 full frame transfer (no Blu-ray for this one), you'd expect the second disc of fifty-one minutes of supplements to fit onto just one disc. I haven't checked out the extras, but there's a Marc Price/cast commentary, a forty minute making-of, and eleven minutes of deleted scenes with Price commentary. Amazon.uk currently has the single disc and this double disc for the same price which converts into a tidy $14 shipped to the U.S., probably cheaper than a (still unannounced) stateside DVD release.

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Speaking of Cronenberg's The Brood...

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Toshiba's Japanese VHS landed in the mailbox as I was typing that yesterday.

What does Breck Eisner mean to Horror, if anything?

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A few weeks back it was reported that The Crazies remake director Breck Eisner would also be at the helm of a remake of Cronenberg's The Brood after the completion of what sounds like a potentially giant misfire in the form of a Flash Gordon revisit. Eisner was also set to reprocess The Creature from the Black Lagoon, but bowed out for the gaggle of mutant children in winter wear.

Like most fresh horror genre news that I actually hear, I was mostly indifferent, but was tinged not by the more obvious aspect of the tidbit. Yes, the industry's continued insistence on remaking every damn thing, from classics to just already solid efforts, is stupefying. The Crazies "re-imagining" judging by the trailer looks to be a marriage of The Happening and Twister...or something. Though what about the prospects of one director behind two nearly-consecutive horror remakes?

Being the beginning-of-Rocky Rocky Balboa of horror blogist commentary, I'm unsure if this distinct occurrence being a precedent or not. I'm fairly certain this sorta thing has happened in the screenwriting world, but can't point to any examples. So working under the basis of a director overseeing two scary remakes being a precedent, the future implications for the genre seem ripe to ponder.

What happens if Eisner is successful with both features? Will emerging directors see horror remakes as an (even more) appealing way of breaking into the top end of the business? Or will there be directors who wallow in nothing but these bloody revisits? Either way, horror fans are still in for a screwin' with more "been there" dreck for possibly years to come, that is if Eisner succeeds at generating enough box office bank for studios to take note and if one personally feels malcontent towards this ongoing redo trend.

A lot can happen between now and The Brood 2011's final tally, but all this might be a more pivotal event for the Hollywood view of the genre than upon first glance. Maybe Eisner's Crazies will flop royally? Maybe The Green Hornet will prove average moviegoers don't give a shit about such obscure, old franchises and derail Flash Gordon hurting Eisner's status? Maybe Saw VII will be the 3-D sea change for the genre? Ugh.

Who knows, but you gotta wonder what the future of mainstream American horror holds? Not a new question by any stretch, though with Avatar digging ditches of Swiss bank cash, perhaps a string of ambitious epically-scaled horror features with actual budgets are the savior? Marc Forster's upcoming adaption of World War Z comes to mind. In this respect, The Battle of Yonkers could become analogous with the point the genre stood up again. If not, hell, it would still nice to see some ambitious epically-scaled horror features instead of Hollywood continuing to cart out the genre for first weekend monetary shots (with remakes only compounding the brutality) to finance bigger and better projects outside of horror.

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Some quick thoughts on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

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How do you make a sequel to one of the greatest modern horror films of all time? I have no idea, but here's Texas Chainsaw 2 anyway. I must admit to not liking this one for quite some time. The original is an unquestionable landmark that still ominously looms over the genre to this day. It's an impossibly grisly act to follow. Much like the almost childish-toned Return of the Living Dead Part II, this comedic take on the Family Sawyer punched my most formative horror watchin' years in the guts. It was simply a massive disappointment being fresh off the first experience high of Hooper's baby, but over the years and with subsequent viewings, my appreciation has grown in bounds for this Reagan era B-take on the Saw.

A good portion of this sequel's mediocrity is from meddling at the hands of Cannon Films who were shocked by Hooper's laugh injection in what the studio figured would be visceral horror piled atop a mountain of '80s-favored grue. The budget was slashed of over a million bucks, constant re-writes ensued, and Cannon excised expository chunks in favor of its horror elements. Dennis Hopper is a million miles of celluloid away from the likes of Easy Rider and really adds nothing special to the film aside from being a semi-bankable name. One can't go in thinking it'd be cool seeing Hopper with a chainsaw as many of the shots of his religiously vengeful Lefty Enwright swinging the tree killer are a stunt double. Even Leatherface, despite some stupid saw = penis innuendo, isn't terribly memorable with his other two members of the inbred 'fam running delirious circles around his whiny ass. I also actually just realized today the film was always released unrated, as the MPAA called for an X initially, and for the sake of deadlines Cannon just said fuck it sending the flick off into theaters lacking any rating. Not a bad thing, but "unrated" was and still is mainstream box office poison.

As for the good, the reprising Jim Siedow and then-newcomer Bill Moseley are hilarious in their respective, demented roles. Siedow has an undeniable grandpappy likability even when shouting "coon shit" as an insult or prattling on about rattling grandpa so as not to "ball up his shit." Moseley gets a surprising amount of face time, yet deserving so, Chop-Top is one of the most indelible minor roles in '80s horror whether it's all his little off-the-cuff gibberish or manically prancing about with his corpse relative screaming "'Namland!" to the annoyance Siedow's Drayton. These two are pretty much the sole reason to watch Texas Chainsaw 2 at least once, even if you don't think you'll care for it.

Caroline Williams as Stretch, a radio DJ sucked into the backwoods fray, is leggy and has a set of great lungs. Lou Perryman's L.G., Stretch's board operator, has what might be the best line in the flick and delivers it better than any other in history. Together they share the most affecting scene in the sense of approximating the hopelessness of the original when Stretch finds L.G. skinned alive by Leatherface's electric fillet knife. Tom Savini's gore feels restrained, but the crew wasn't shooting with a no rating release in mind. A shame, knowing that all along could have resulted in an disembodied intestinal extravaganza.

The cover above is actually a pre-release design MGM devised for their most recent Gruesome Edition DVD, which beats the hell out of the white photoshop quickie job ultimately released. As you probably know, this SE is overstuffed with commentaries, bad VHS dup-sourced deleted scenes, and ninety minutes of featurettes, but I have my qualms with the image quality. The transfer is one of the most color-boosted pictures I've seen. Trees and grass intensely radiate green, solid reds bleed all over, and everyone looks flush while wearing red lipstick. This is a very different appearance than MGM's initial no-frills DVD and I can't say it's all that appealing. Otherwise, the SE is the one to own even over Elite's old Laserdisc SE. Avoid the barely-audible Video Treasures EP VHS edition.

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Happy 45th to Rob Zombie

His latest abomination, Halloween II happens to arrive today on DVD & Blu-ray as well, don't buy it.

More Awards and the Shit-Eatin' Palance Award

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The hits keep coming with much gratitude. I'm much honored to receive a second mention over at Z for Zombies for another One Lovely Blog award. Fearfinder awarded a One Lovely Blog OF DOOM! for my techie tendencies and lack of writing acumen. There's a ton of gory imports I still need to check out reviewed there and his thoughts always entice. Also FF's masthead absolutely freaks me the fuck out being a pool of real blood...or at least the realest fake blood I've ever seen. The always impressively comprehensive Cool Ass Cinema mentioned BoGD in the same breath as The Scandy Factory, but Mr. Tangerine Man won the One Lovely Blogger for his addition of bountiful breastsies that inhabit the same space as gooey VHS goodness. Can't argue with that logic! Finally, always much thanks to Johnny at Freddy in Space for mentioning BoGD in his House of the Devil VHS entry. Thanks again to all those kind enough to praise my efforts here! I'll try and continue what keeps all you guys coming back!

Now for the unveiling of a new Basement of Ghoulish Decadence-approved award, the highly coveted Shit-Eatin' Palance. Named in honor of the Ukraine-born Western actor legend, this incredibly distinguished award is given to ten exemplary blogs that upon visiting plaster a big 'ol shit-eatin' grin on my mug whilst sipping on my nightly White Russian and splashing on some Hai Karate. This award will be bi-annual like the Ginger Bush, so if your blog isn't chosen this go-around, there will be a next time. Here are this round's recipients, if you wish, feel free to post this award on your blogs with pride!

The Scandy Factory - Mr. Tangerine's fantastical VHS-dedicated photo/video/nudie lady blog is the ying to BoGD's yang. His vintage tape-ripped videos are pure gold much like Richard motherfucking Dawson hailing Satan.

The Horror Effect - B-Movie Becky's a pimp...if girls can be pimps? I have no idea, but anyway her blog runs the gamut of modern horror with unique wit and opinion. She makes for a better read than the official Ms. Horror Blogosphere in my meaningless book.

The Cheap Bin (post-DOTS scandal) - Astro returned with a vengeance causing a 37% drop in DOTS candy stock. Covering with delightful mofo glee even worse trash than before, the cheap bin relocated into that one Chinese market in the bad side of town...yeah, that one with the seventy year old quad amputee mystic next to the K-9 meat market...

The Direct to Video Connoisseur - I just discovered this blog which places an unusual attention to both the good-and-bad of a slew DTV wonders. Or in other words, the kind of meanderings I desire to read before picking up that $5 DVD at the bottom of Wal Mart's dump bin.

En lejemorder ser tilbage - Jack has the same obsessive version control and import OCD as I. You know that one super rare Taiwanese tape that's the only uncut release of that one splatter epic that was banned in its native country? Jack either has it already or is on the constant hunt for it. Also check out his other blog, When the Vietnam War raged... in the Philippines.

Planet of Terror - Great, easy-readin' randomized horror blog that approaches blogging in a similar style as BoGD and I personally find his taste agreeable to my own, hope that's not too much of an insult! I'm unsure what this Cortez is crusading for, but you count on my steel.

Billy Loves Stu - Pax presents the "other" persuasion of horror comment and delivers a perspective that just might be wholly unique in the gory blogsphere...at least to my knowledge. He also undoubtedly knows of what he writes on a wide variety of genre topics. Plus I imagine he's probably more fit than all of us fatass bloggers.

The Horror Digest - Andre has a appetite for horror that seems only equivalent to Carl over at ILHM. Her individualistic attitude is all over her writing and she likes Session 9, Jacob's Ladder, Demons, and I "think" she likes Martyrs...so she checks out just fine.

The Jaded Viewer - Dude's a maniac who anchors a well-designed blog with great writing. He's currently providing readers with a great multi-blog perspective on the horrifying year that was. The variety of reviews and his lists are also spot-on excellent.

Lost Video Archive - A great (mostly) VHS-dedicated blog covering an always surprisingly diverse review spread of tapes, everything from Sho Kosugi to Techniques of Stamping (hilarious review). A solid tapehead endeavor acting as another feast to my magentic obsessions.

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Some quick thoughts on Audition (1999) on Blu-ray

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Takashi Miike's Audition missed an official premiere in the last decade by just a few months. Though if this seminal Eastern eyeopener had seen first projector's light in the '00s; del Toro's The Devil's Backbone (El espinazo del diablo) would be off my prior decade's Top 10, every selection bumped down one position, and Laugier's Martyrs dethroned. It's a watershed horror film that rode the crest of the rediscovery of extreme cinema to come flooding from Japan and introduced madman Miike to the world. At the same time, the film's marketing, ever featuring actress Eihi Shiina with syringe and menacing rubber garb, hurts the peripheral nervous system beat down hidden within. It's really no surprise anymore; the image on the left has become synonymous with J-horror much like Ringu's modern onryō and Hideshi Hino's horrifying manga.

Miike has an uncanny ability of tailoring his directorial style to given material. This allows the director to be amazingly prolific and diverse in his cannon while maintaining a distinctive flare. With Audition, Miike crafts one of his tamest films from the learned, textured perspective (or so he thought) of a well-off middle-aged business man (Ryo Ishibashi) longing to end lingering loneliness after his wife's death. Before Asami unfurls her dastardly instruments, the proceedings take on that of a drama that can be seen as agreeable to well-off middle-aged business men. Ryo Ishibashi (Aoyama) is perfect as a competent professional caught up in a lust he hasn't felt in years. Eihi Shiina (Asami) is also well, perfect as the quiet archetype of Japanese female obediency. The little mysteries surrounding Asami make the film's later hallucinatory tortures even more psyche-shattering. Essentially a very Japanese take on Adrian Lyne's Fatal Attraction with a (fictional?) worst case scenario that reaches far beyond a crazy bitch Glenn Close welding a knife. Audition comments upon the prevailing loneliness in the Japanese populous, yet offers not solace, but instead replaces all the piss and vigor of the dating scene with long needles and taunt piano wire.

A great write-up on the subtle nature of the latter half of the film can be seen here over at Freddy in Space. That entry inspired this viewing after not seeing Miike's classic in years and I agree with Johnny's assessment. The open-endedness of the conclusion is what makes the film rise above it's otherwise straight forward delivery into its highly memorable status. As for this recently released Blu-ray from Shout! Factory, the 1080p image quality is the subject of some mild controversy. The color cast of the feature appears to have been normalized, so instead of the warm "golden" appearance seen on previous DVDs, these new DVD and Blu-ray tenth anniversary releases have a more natural color tone. Further evidence of this change can be seen in the so-so grain structure having a bit of fleeting strange color mixed in throughout. It's a hard to describe, but nonetheless the transfer is certainly the best Audition has ever looked on home video. Even with the high def image having some minor damage and cue marks (the source being an internegative, or third generation from the original negative), the prior non-anamorphic Chimera and interlaced Lionsgate DVDs can't compare at all and it also easily bests the best standard def presentation in Tartan's British DVD. It looks pleasing at 52", but I imagine those with large projection screens will be less impressed.

The lossless Japanese Dolby TrueHD and DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 tracks sound crystal clear and highlight Kôji Endô's often unnoticed but angelic score. The extras feature a commentary track with Miike and Daisuke Tengan, new interviews with Ryo Ishibashi, Eihi Shiina, Renji Ishibashi, and Ren Osugi, international trailers, and small booklet by Midnight Eye editor and Agitator: The Cinema Of Takashi Miike author Tom Mes. Oddly, the interviews and trailers are featured on a second DVD disc, despite even a 25GB Blu-ray disc having the capacity to fit everything. This release isn't quite definitive on any terms, and Miike maniacs will want all three stateside releases for all available extra material, but it's nice to see Audition arrive on a decent looking Blu-ray well before anyone figured.

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The defining example of DVDBeaver being full of shit.

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Read these ridiculous comments by Leonard Norwitz concerning the video quality of Fortune Star's Once Upon a Time in China II Blu-ray from Hong Kong posted yesterday at DVDBeaver. I cannot believe anyone, especially someone who calls himself a reviewer, would give anything even resembling praise upon such a wretched looking Blu-ray. Fortune Star have an emerging pattern of issuing heavily processed, poorly upscaled standard definition transfers onto Blu-ray and this example is no different. It's screamingly obvious the studio utilized a desaturated, overly brightened, and just plain shitty 480i standard def transfer for the next gen HD format. Norwitz should be ashamed of himself over his remarks as they tarnish the site and make him look dumb--or at worst a liar. Or perhaps he should stop trying to justify to himself a purchase of such weak product. Sour grapes should never interfere with the plain truth.

Now, I've had long standing gripes with DVDBeaver's vague assessments of Blu-ray video quality. They have a tendency of not noticing even obvious edge enhancement or digital noise reduction problems. This is why I only visit to look at their full resolution captures anymore, but c'mon, this is by far the most egregious praise of absolute trash I've ever read there. This Blu-ray would look terrible even if it was a Laserdisc presentation. This review puts the final nail in the coffin of DVDBeaver's credibility and they would be better served by just shutting their uneducated mouths about image quality. Stick to ejaculating to arthouse clusterfucks and begging for donations at every turn. It's obvious to anyone with vision that Fortune Star don't care about even trying to produce high definition transfers for their Blu-ray output and DVDBeaver apparently not caring about being honest to their readers. Sorry about getting pissy, but what's right is right, even on this little point.

EDIT: Thanks to Stac of Fan Fatales and Creepy Kitsch for the vitally important spelling correction! D'oh!

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New Line, what the hell?

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New Line will be re-releasing The Nightmare Collection, featuring NOES 1-7 and Freddy vs. Jason, on DVD (no word of extras) in April.
Though why in the hell did they use a still of Jackie Earle Haley's Freddy for the cover?

Way to further piss on Englund's legacy in horror and your studio's history, New Line...

Some quick thoughts on Calvaire (2004)

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A young singer-for-hire (Marc, Laurent Lucas) traveling through the desolate French countryside breaks down while in route to a Christmas gig and is forced to stay at an empty inn with its quietly eccentric keeper (Jackie Berroyer). The old keeper seems coyly smitten with the young man and promises to get the singer's truck fixed so that he can be on his way. The only others around are a man wandering the area in search of his dog and a group of equally eccentric villagers headed up by veteran French actor Philippe Nahon. Marc soon realizes something is terribly wrong when waking to women's clothing in his room's armoire and the innkeeper setting his truck ablaze outside.

Imagine if Misery, Deliverance, Straw Dogs, and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre were pompous drivers tooling around Western Europe. Now imagine they're all involved in a four-way collision with each other. Fabrice Du Welz's Calvaire is the resulting hail of hollow insults as each stomp around and point fingers like a bunch of pricks slowing down traffic. Everyone just wants them to clear off the road so they can move on to better things. It's 88 minutes spent better invested in one of those greats, instead of Belgian director Du Welz's mildly perverse, yet annoyingly posturing thriller dead end. I'm suspecting many who fawn all over Calvaire as something worthy are either unaware of its obviously superior influences or afraid to say what they really feel so as not to be ostracized. The whole "it's foreign so it must be good but I'm just not understanding it" syndrome. Ultimately, it's just a big bullshit that's too enamored with itself to break free or even approach the quality of its many points of reference, despite being a Belgian/French/Luxemborg co-production spoken in French.

One could literally read the synopsis above and skip to just over forty minutes in and not miss a single thing--except a dose of 35mm Unisom. There's little sense of escalation to Marc's blindsided terror with Laurent Lucas being the source of the problem. The actor plays the lead with an ineffective passivity before the shit gets real and then is reduced to a whimpering fleshbag of shrieks. Who knows how a person would react in such a situation, but the faceless stranger presented in the beginning remains a stranger to the audience. Jackie Berroyer delivers the most nuanced performance as an innskeeper deeply grieving over his wife's death. Though Berroyer isn't worth the price of admission and Philippe Nahon is wasted in a minor role. The cinematography by Benoît Debie is highly praised, but it's just an onslaught of that familiar rutty, baby shit brown earth tone over competent direction. It doesn't help the Palm Pictures DVD's transfer being a botched interlaced PAL-to-NTSC conversion in all its thick 'n blurry glory.

The most interesting aspect of Calvaire is its opening with Marc crooning at a home for the elderly he's apparently been booked at for a number of consecutive years. After his performance and as he's leaving, two women seem strangely sexually desperate for him not to leave. This is unexplained and it's hard not to wonder what kind of film could have been built on that alone. One of the women is French porn and horror icon Brigitte Lahaie, acting as one of the few glimmers of interest in this whole feature. In terms of modern French (or French-related) horror, there's much better visions to conquer with your DVD player first than this half-baked mess.

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So TCM is on IFC's Grindhouse Tonight @ Midnight

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2 outta 4 stars?!? Seriously, channel guide?

Pre-order the House of the Devil VHS/DVD Combo

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I first noticed this awesome news tidbit at Zombie DON'T Run and it's being reported all over originally arriving via Dread Central (front/back/tape pics at the link). Dark Sky Films have sent out promo copies of The House of the Devil on VHS in a retro clamshell case! They even went as far as to emulate Gorgon Video's usual clamshell art design and release the film through Gorgon since MPI act as the owner and distributor of both studios. Can you say fucking awesome? EDIT: I see Amazon just threw up a picture of the bundle on their listing! The VHS is indeed from Gorgon Video/MPI!

Most articles don't mention that Amazon has a DVD/VHS "promo bundle" up for pre-order the same day the DVD and Blu-ray editions are sent to bow. Here's the non-affiliate Amazon link, buried in the e-tailer's VHS section. $33 plus shipping might seem high, but geez, just look at that damn thing! Hell, I'm contemplating pre-ordering two copies myself. I imagine the highish price is from the VHS production cost as most replicators have long since abandoned the dead format. Reminiscent of Cheap Trick's latest, "The Latest", being produced in a special 8-Track limited edition for $30 as only one place in the world was still able to produce that even deader format. Also as an aside notice how the back of the HotD VHS features a UPC, it seems funny a true promotional item would feature a barcode. Perhaps this VHS edition will be a special Best Buy promo and/or sold at little independent music/movie shops as well...

Here's Gorgon/MPI's clamshell VHS cover of Mario Bava's Bay of Blood (Twitch of the Death Nerve). Notice the overall similar layout, the back cover's CAUTION blurb, and the "Color/R" and "Approx. runtime" placement. The HotD cassette's face label also has Gorgon's logo and a logo/title/Color/runtime/FBI warning placement that matches the old clamshell tapes. Awesome!