Friday, March 12

Perhaps the most off-topic VHS scan on this blog...

.
...yet if you were a kid in 1987 you knew this was the shit. Hell, the first three minutes alone blows away last year's live-action "adaption". Might sound like bullshit, but the screenplay is written well above the vocabulary of its target audience (especially the dialogue of Cobra). Literally every other third word being one an average 8-year-old would have to look up or just learn from watching. An attribute seemingly lost in the children's programming of today. Plus you got the voices of Don Johnson in full Miami Vice-shred, Burgess Meredith as Cobra's supreme half-man/half-snake leader, and Sgt. Slaughter just after breaking the now profanely senile Iron Sheik's ass in the WWF. This probably wouldn't fly in today's climate, with the religiously PC must be educational-spewing crowd that would still throw a hissy fit if a similar show was created now called "Vague Battle Force Cartoon of Debatable Nationality, Non-Lethal Means, and Omnipresent Diplomacy" with factual historical war insight every five minutes by LeVar Burton and trumped-up poetry by Maya Angelou.

9 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh hell yeah--this was the shit back in the day. I'd love to see it again.

Jayson Kennedy said...

It holds up surprisingly well. Probably better now than when I was a kid.

Zach S. said...

this flick was the bomb in the day and still holds up. Slaughter wrestling Serpentor is the highlight of the entire piece. Why didn't they just do a shot for shot live action remake of this??

Anonymous said...

I had that VHS. Loved it. YO JOE!

DrunkethWizerd said...

This is one of my all time favorite cartoon movies and I've probably seen it about twenty times... it's badass and classic on all levels, and Pythona and Jinx should get shower screen time ala Chun Li in Street Fighter's movie. Day-um!

The state of new cartoons sickens me. The children of today are being rendered moronic piles of slag with the toons they're forced to endure on the tube. I say any parents with a shred of sense will monitor their child's viewing patterns with heavy doses of Thundercats, Transformers and GIJoe.

Jayson Kennedy said...

They probably wouldn't want to do a shot for shot live action take on this, Zach, it would cost $210 million for the CG alone, hahaha...

Geez, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra cost $175 million, how?!?

Anonymous said...

I forgot about Pythona. Her boobs used to give my pre-pubescent mind confusing feelings.

KFelon said...

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003CNQPOW

Blu-Ray? Really?

Anonymous said...

Didn't someone say "shit" or "damn" in this? Or was that Transformers?

That sleeve looks fantastic!

...do you dare tread upon the staircase?

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