Thursday, July 9

My Feet Hurt

forget about sunshine, wallet cattle.

So I took the day off and what did I do? Go hiking or biking you ask? Perhaps hop out on the open seas? Straddle the MILF next door whose in need of some pool boy lovin'? Or maybe just work around the house? No, I did what every ugly American manchild does on such beautiful sunny days--go shopping for shit I don't need in the slightest.

My parents go antiquing on weekends and know of my ravenous love for horror...especially horror on dead formats. So a few weeks back they ran across a place that had a bunch of tapes in the back and were even nice enough to pick out a few (like the VHS clamshells of Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks and The Body Beneath). They couldn't quite remember exactly where when I asked yesterday, but they told me they thought it was a place called AAA Antiques.

Using rather incorrect directions from Google Maps, I half-assed my way up there to discover it wasn't the place after all with a phone call received while I was there. I hate places that carry only "antiques", you know, crap like old farm tools, broken dolls, expensive six hundred pound dressers, and creepy old portraits of God knows who. Though the place wasn't bad, with a good mix of some mothball-ridden furniture and pop culture collectibles. I didn't find that much, despite all of the albums, comics, and action figures on hand. I managed an old Snorks 3D puzzle still in the box for my mom (she'll love it), Kino Video's VHS of The Old Dark House, and this loose Snake Plissken from McFarlane's Movie Maniacs 3.

Trench coat removed for better New York approximation.

Next up I stopped by Maryland's soccer mom shoppers mecca, Arundel Mills. Basically if you live in the area and desire shoes this is the place. Besides that and a giant Egyptian-styled movie theater, this mall is a big vacuum of suck. The adjacent Best Buy kinda stinks as well, with a small Horror section, but I was surprised to see Steve Miner's Abortion of...I mean Day of the Dead on Blu-ray for only $14.99 no less. I noticed Lionsgate's terrible coverart'ed Near Dark re-issue has the commentary and DTS track from the Anchor Bay editions--so not a total loss. Also this is the second Hot Topic I've seen that seems to be dumping their selection of toys and action figures for whatever reason. They can keep their shitty clothes, terrible music, and snide attitudes brought on by their ever-so-badass corporate-styled emo/goth sheen.

One thing the mall has is one of the last large F.Y.E. locations in the state. Even though the store likes to charge customers full price for everything, they tend to have a decent back catalog of DVDs, unlike the aforementioned Best Buy which revolves their stock over time. I nearly bought Amok Train, but found a factory sealed copy of Guinea Pig - Devil Woman Doctor/ Greatest Cuts marked as used for $8.99. These GP discs from Unearthed Films have been out-of-print for awhile and this completes my set of the volumes. Just to note, Henenlotter's Brain Damage looks to have slipped from Synapse Films with a new edition from whoever "Mackinac Media" are. The cover seemed printed on cheap stock and the case was one of those cheapo flimsy tire smelling types. I also came extraordinarily close to owning the Living Dead Doll's Jason Voorhees (why is this $29.99?!), the hardcover of World War Z, and 101 Horror Movies You Must See Before You Die...but held off.

Ugh, buy a Synapse edition while you still can.

Then came Wal Mart, a store I normally hate, but the clientele are better than the bloated ignorant trash polluting the one nearest to me. They actually re-designed the entire store to make it feel more like a Supercenter (or Target) location with a pantry, frozen foods, and wide aisles. I must admit it was the most pleasant walk through a Wal Mart I've experienced. All of their DVDs and Blu-rays were out instead of being crammed under lock and key. Some Blu-rays like Lord of War, Saw 2, King of New York, and Robocop were only $10. Another thing I noticed is this chain's panache for crappy DTV horror flicks. They always tend to have at least three or four terrible indie numbers I've never heard of, like The Hive (w/ horrific cover art), The Cellar Door (from still kickin' '80s VHS big box Horror mavens, Monterey Video), and Knock, Knock.

Heaven's forbid on stocking Marilyn Manson, yet this was at 6-year-old eye line.

Finally, I landed at Big Lots and in case anyone didn't know, they've been a fertile landfill for good DVD overstock for some time now. I snagged $3 copies of Warner's The Hand, Adness' The Executioner (Sonny Chiba), Raw Feed's Believers, and Sony's double header of Lommel's original Boogeyman/Return of Boogeyman (more on this one later).

In summation; I walked a lot, nearly got lost, was wishy-washy on purchases, and got indigestion from Sbarro. 'Tis was a wondrous day...


J. Astro said...

THE HIVE is so awesomely stupid! And KNOCK KNOCK seems like a much better movie after you watch the "making of..." features, because depsite it's relatively low technical "quality", you get the idea that the filmmakers were really into what they were doing.

J. Astro said...

...oh, and I meant "despite its", not 'depsite it's'. Whoops.

Jayson Kennedy said...

So which would you recommend more, Hive or Knock, Knock?

no prob on the grammar, I fuck it up all the time. you dare tread upon the staircase?

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