Thursday, March 26

John Cena: Movie Star

At the risk of bewilderingly everyone; I don't mind WWE "superstar" John Cena being propped up in action vehicles by WWE Films. I actually just realized he had a film (trailer here), directed by muddle master Renny Harlin, opening tomorrow.

Now, I realize this looks nearly exactly like The Marine with Cena in a police uniform and in city locale, but I'm game. Of course there's no way in hell I'll see it in theaters, but hell yeah in the bargain bin or on HBO.

Both of these actioners are like formulaic projects a mid-80s Arnold would have tackled. And I have no qualms about that. I've seen The Marine more times I care to admit on lazy weekends. It's the kind of straight action junk food that's getting rarer nowadays. When you cut through the high-minded critical bullshit; it's a splashly mix of wooden acting and fight candy spearheaded by a spirited cast. Or maybe that's just a drunk Robert Patrick.

That's not to say I don't appreciate the efforts of Statham to play the same character over-and-over or Stallone still hustling his loose beef through this former glory. I can't see Cena rising to action icon status, but I say let him be and wash yourself in the brainless explosions, he just might strike gold and make a goofy classic like Commando one day.

Also, what the fuck is he doing with a baby goat?

1 comment:

angelvamp13 said...

Haha! I didn't even notice the goat until I read that at the end. It is a very cute goat... you dare tread upon the staircase?

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