Tuesday, March 24

Lunch Meat (1987)

Directed by Kirk Alex
88 Minutes / DVD-R sourced from the Tapeworm VHS / 1.33:1 Full Frame

A group of young stereotypes of the '80s run afoul of murderous chicken fuckers with a taste for human. It's that simple, who will survive and what will be left of them? Hey, I should copyright that...errrr...wait a minute...dammit.

Same ol' crap done well and rustic enough to be entertaining. That's this film condensed to a pull line. This came out a year before Die Hard. I know that's from left field, but I always find that little fact so otherworldly while watching late '80s flicks of any sort. Here we have a Super 8 scrappy backwoods flick tailored for the rental market just before an incredibly influential Action genre criterion. It's like each are from totally different planets. Okay, this tangent is going nowhere.

Lunch Meat certainly has its merits. I wasn't expecting much at all except for an absolutely kick ass cover. The group's exposition amounts to a short car ride and catching a burger in the first half hour. Like clockwork, the crazed Curly Howard with cannibal tendencies above and his fam' attack our faceless youngins with an assortment of handtools. This outdoors stalk and slash lasts the rest of the duration. Director Alex holds the tension well with little flares like frantic POV shots. The acting surprisingly isn't half bad. No one stands out, but the victims deliver barrels of palpable desperation and we cheer for the brutal demise of our favorite fucked-lookin' hillbillies. Gore is minimal with a focus instead on bloody brutality. Composer Rick Neigher varies the downtrodden, ominous synth just enough to not sound like the same piece over-and-over. Yeah, it's a keeper, now if I could only find the real deal myself...

Film: 5.5/10
DVD-R Picture: 5/10
DVD-R Sound: 6/10


Olympic Artichoke said...

I have always wanted to see Lunchmeat.

I Like Horror Movies said...

Glad you finally got to see this one Jay! I think Id be more disappointed if it was great, with a cover like that you almost want it to be shlocky and terrible for the nostalgic effect, yay 80s!!

J. Astro said...

This movie screams "please make someone release me on DVD!" The damn thing used to taunt me as a child, where it sat on the local rental rack @ Econo Foods... and my dad, while pretty permissive about the horror I could watch, would never get this particular one for me.

At least SOMEone got to see it; nice pick, man!

...do you dare tread upon the staircase?

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