Friday, August 14

Blue Monkey (1987)

pardon the lack of large scan, not mine, which is very beat up.

Directed by William Fruet
96 Minutes / RCA/Columbia Home Video / Cropped from 1.85:1 to full screen

Steve Railsback sleepwalks through the old stoic detective portrayal in this humorless '50s monster flick throwback. After an elderly man falls severely ill being pricked by a strange tropical flower, he's rushed to the hospital only to vomit up a disgusting slimy cocoon. Soon the husk is opened and accidentally exposed to a growth drug, causing the creature to evolve into a giant bug that terrorizes the building. It's now all on the shoulders of Railsback, the only nurse that isn't screaming her head off, and a lovable boy with leukemia to defeat the angry insect...with freakin' laser beams.

It sounds like fun, but this is the kind of movie that will absolutely fuck you up if you aren't in exactly the right mood. I sit here bruised and slightly confused. It felt like three hours of boredom condensed in an hour and a half and an affront to '50s monster schlock and other campy throwbacks everywhere. I shouldn't say "other campy" since Blue Monkey doesn't do what we usually associate with camp. Where's the quirky laughs? Not here. Badass (and/or goofball) characters you can root for? Not here. The whole thing seems to dissolve into a barrage of poorly-shot, heavily blue tinted sequences of characters chasing and being chased by the huge cumbersome wingless shit fly. Not recommended, appearances by the ever stern John Vernon and ever skittish Joe Flaherty can't even help, but as stated prior I imagine it might go down alright if one happens to be in the right mood by accident.

VHS Picture: 5/10
VHS Sound: 5/10

No comments: you dare tread upon the staircase?

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