Friday, April 24

The Top 5 Things Video Dealers Can Go Pound Sand Over

I've only been collecting for just a little while. Though I've ran into, in some instances repeatedly, either asshole tape dealers or dealers who do astonishingly asinine things. So here we go, the top five things said tapeheads can suck eggs over:

5) Treating their VHS like Fort Knox gold - Nothing says welcome like a camera array in a three aisle, twenty foot long enclosure of a shop in a on-the-skids strip mall with the seller breathing down your neck like you're a hardened criminal while observing his two customers via CCTV monitors ...over VHS tapes. I've actually experienced this phenomena twice from two different sellers.

4) Using the highest Amazon Marketprice price as the real value - I know of a guy who does this and he never lowers his prices. Last time I checked a few months ago he had copies of Theater of Blood for $45 and Shockwaves for $80. Perhaps his casket could be decorated in black tape?

3) Not lowering the price despite obvious damage - My last occurrence was with a copy of Night Warning that was missing its cover. The cassette was in mint condition and was placed in a plastic case with the title written in marker on paper. After politely pointing this out, the seller literally said "Uhhh...I guess it could be not the original cover..." With that I just walked off.

2) Using any price stickers on the box as an indication of real value - So this dealer I know has a mountain of tapes he gets from all over for $3 each. I picked out three and one of them had a discolored, half torn price sticker of $29.99 that was obviously from some long gone rental establishment. Right upon seeing that he set a price of $20 and wouldn't accept any haggling. This is just sheer stupidity.

1) "I've been doing this for over twenty years..." - This one only happened once and got me amazingly pissed. Years ago I asked a certain seller I had seen on weekends if I could provide him a list of titles to see whether or not he's got them. I was big into Italian crime films at the time so the list of six or so was comprised of selections from the subgenre. Some I had no idea if they were released on VHS in the States, but some were without a shadow of a doubt.

I presented the list the following weekend and after briefly looking he said he didn't have any of them. I let out a disappointed "oh" and before I could simply say "thanks anyway"--this old prick for no reason snapped. Loudly he growled "Look, I've been doing with for over twenty years and if I've never heard of them...they don't exist!" I'm unsure what I said in response, but I did wrench the list back from his fattened fingers and exit in a huff. I never set foot into his place again, obviously I'm not worthy.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like tape collecting is serious stuff. I used to love finding places that were getting rid of their inventory for dirt cheap prices to make room for DVDs or whatnot. Actually a video store right down the street from me that I used to poke around in when I was younger just went out last month and I picked up a copy of Dreamscape and Mondo Cane for $1 each.

Soiled Sinema said...

To be frankly honest, I've been to this blog several times and liked what I saw but this post is great. I know where you are coming from and it's hilarious to boot. Bravo, good sir. Bravo.


Rachel said...

I think some sellers can stick to stupid prices because some idiot comes alone and IS willing to pay it. Grr. you dare tread upon the staircase?

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